


everyone needs a friend

by getcucked



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Karl Jacobs-centric, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, give the man a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29627124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getcucked/pseuds/getcucked
Summary: karl dealing with self harm, gender dysphoria, suicidal thoughts, and anorexia. ranboo helps him feel a bit bettertriggering topics!! please don't read if this story may trigger youthis is a vent/self projection
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Ranboo
Kudos: 56





	everyone needs a friend

Tears rushed down Karl's face, his arm sitting over the sink, blood coming out of fresh cuts. he held a blade in the other hand, his phone next to him open with comments upon comments about how much everyone hates him. "I'm so fucking annoying I'm so fucking annoying- everyone fucking hates me and it's all my fault" he mumbled to himself, watching the blood drip from his arm to the sink.

He had cut deeper than usual, never having seen this much blood. He liked it, it made him feel something that wasn't numb. He finally decided to clean off his arm, wincing at the sting in the cuts, before drying his skin and bandaging it. hHe sighed, grabbing his phone and closing the comments, going to lay on his bed for a while. 

He scrolled through Twitter, before getting a call. The brunette looked at the name before sighing, answering the call. "Hey Ranboo- what's up?" He asked, his voice cracking a bit as he had been crying a little bit before getting the call.

"I'm worried about you, Karl.. you haven't- you haven't streamed or tweeted in weeks, it's so unlike you." Ranboo got straight to the point, nervous about how this would effect Karl. "I- no Ranboo I'm fine- I just haven't felt up to it, I guess.." karl admitted, it wasn't necessarily a lie or a truth, kinda just in the middle. His stomach growled, the noise audible to the younger on the phone. 

"When's the last time you ate?" Ranboo asked quietly, a bit more worried after hearing the noise. "I- um- about 2 weeks ago.." Karl admitted, scared of what ranboo would think of him starving himself. 

"So you aren't fine. Please don't lie to me? I'm worried about you. You can tell me what's going on. I'm here for you, I promise." You could hear the smile in Ranboo's voice, but Karl's heart seemed to shatter at the words. "Please don't make promises you can't keep, Ranboo.. Everyone that says that is a liar. They don't wanna help, they just wanna make sure they aren't the problem." Karl began to cry again, not trusting everyone after almost everyone dropped him for coming out.

"Karl, I promise, im not gonna hurt you, okay? You don't have to open up, but it'd be better if you do.." Ranboo sighed shakily, tears forming in his eyes as he heard the older break down. "Are you sure..? It's a lot, and I don't wanna put that on you, kid." karl asked, making sure he was 100% okay with Karl opening up.

Ranboo sighed, wanting him to be okay. "I'm sure. If it gets too much for me, I'll tell you, yeah?" He smiled, although Karl couldn't see it. "Y-yeah, that sounds good.." The older mumbled, sighing. 

"Okay so- for the past coupled months, I've been dealing with really bad suicidal thoughts. I started cutting to make myself feel even a little bit better, but now it's like I depend on it to feel alive.. I'm not sure if I've told you this, but I'm trans. My dysphoria has been kicking my ass, even though I already got top surgery and am on testosterone. It sucks, because I know it'll never go away, no matter how hard I try. I also- I haven't wanted to eat in so long, I feel like shit and I've been losing way too much weight, which may be causing the dysphoria, but I fucking despise the thought of eating. I feel disgusting whenever I do, and when I do I force myself to throw up." Karl ranted, beginning to cry as he spoke, not having opened up this much to someone before. 

"I-I'm so-" He began to speak, before Ranboo cut him off. "Don't you dare apologize, okay? I'm proud of you for opening up, I understand how hard that is. Maybe we could try something- about your eating. We can fix the self harm addiction in the future, this one is more important to deal with, okay? Do you wanna try something for it?" Ranboo asked, wanting to make sure he could help as best as possible.

"Depends, what is it?" Karl asked curiously, humming as he awaited an answer. "What if you call me every time you eat, we'll start with a small meal everyday and work our way up? Then we stay on the phone for about an hour or two, or even more if you want after you eat, to make sure you don't throw it up?" Ranboo suggested, hoping that would be good enough to help.

"I'd like that.. Thank you so much, man. You don't understand how much this means to me- everyone else fucking hates me, they all think I'm annoying and clingy.. I'm glad I have you in my life, Ranboo.." Karl smiled, curling up under the covers. "Can we fall asleep on the phone..? It'd comfort me.." Karl asked, plugging in his phone and closing his eyes, exhausted from crying so much.

"Yeah, of course! sleep well, Karl. I'll be here when you wake up, okay?" Ranboo hummed, going to his pc to lay Minecraft while he waited for Karl to wake up. 

"Okay.." Karl mumbled, before drifting off to sleep


End file.
